For the past few years, December has proved to be a pretty crazy month for me. (I guess it's a pretty crazy month for everyone. right?) But as I watched it approach this year, I was almost dreading it. And that's pretty sad.
Why would I dread December? Because I can't seem to remember back to a December when I was NOT sick. And tired. And run down. And exhausted. And had just plain had ENOUGH of everything and everyone. I'm just bein' real here, folks. You know it's happened to you before, too!
In previous years, December meant:
1. Participate in the Worship Arts Ministry Christmas Program (normally more than one performance)
2. Assist with the K.I.D.S. Church Christmas Program
3. Plan and execute a Board of Directors Christmas Party
4. Plan a Church-Wide Christmas Dinner
5. Participate in the Worship Arts Ministry special performances (normally something along the lines of caroling)
6. Perform photo shoot after photo shoot and then work miracles with fast editing so all my clients had their photos and photo cards back in time for Christmas
7. Oh, did I mention I work a full-time job, too?
8. Oh yes, there's also baking, shopping, wrapping and planning to do for my friends and family!
9. And the Christmas card mailing, and the Christmas parties, and cooking...
10. Plus the fact that I was always house-sitting for friends, pet-sitting for neighbors, babysitting for babies...
All of the above contributed to me either paying homage to the Porcelain King or worshipping the Puffs Plus with Lotion...instead of being able to focus on the King of Kings. (Yeah, it IS His birthday, right?) By the time I got to December 31, I didn't have much hope for the new year.
2011 really has been an amazing year, but it's been quite the year of change for me. I've gotten married, moved to a different city, changed full-time jobs...LOTS of CHANGE. And, coming up on December, I was okay with that, I just knew that things could not be the same this time around.
So I made a decision.
Each big activity I plan to be involved in, I must also plan to rest after. If there is no time to rest after, then it's not the activity to be involved in.
Plain and simple.
The problem is that, as much as I think I've conquered the need to say "Of course!" to anyone who asks me for anything, I have not. It is still a giant in my life, but I think I might have beaten it down just a little bit more this time! I wish I could understand what it is that rises up inside me and makes me think I have to accomplish everything for everyone perfectly and in record time! However, here we are, half-way through December. I'm not sick. I'm not stressed. I'm not totally exhausted. And it hasn't killed me to say "no".
I won't say I haven't been stressed at all this month, or that there hasn't been a project or two that's very dear to my heart that I haven't been able to participate in, or that my husband hasn't had to drop everything he's doing just to calm me down, or that everything has gone completely according to plan, but I'm halfway there. And you know what? I'm ENJOYING this December! For the first time in years, I really am!
Now, the question is, can I live like this for the rest of the months in any given year? Oh boy. Only time will tell!
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